For the series “Sometimes they come back”, today I’ll leave you in the hands of a dear friend of mine from university and a super-duper working mum of Ginevra and Federico. Her name is Ludovica, she’s from Torino and after a very eventful trip to the beach alone with her two kiddies, she got inspired to write a piece for Team Mama: the mommy NOT-to-do list!
I loved it, thanks Ludi!
- Don’t think you’re wonder woman!
It’s ok to ask for help, especially for what concerns chores and cooking. And if that means that you have to spend some money, trust me, it will be worth it!
- Don’t expect your children to ALWAYS love each other and ALWAYS play together!
There will be times when they’ll want to kill each other and others when they’ll cuddle… accept it all.
- Don’t go out for a long walk if you’re not 100% sure that they’ll make it.
The other day at the seaside I had the brilliant idea of going to a new beach for a change. We all took our bicycles and started this nice coastal walk. Turned out that Federico was way too slow: thank God I had his stroller with me so I put him (and his bicycle) in it and made it to this nice beach. On the way back Ginevra was too tired so I ended up tying some towels and pulling her bicycle while pushing the stroller… I looked (and felt) like a sherpa!
- Don’t expect your children to ALWAYS want to share toys.
Having two units of some toys can be very useful and relaxing at times.
- Don’t go to the playground alone with them.
That is unless you’re a very relaxed kind of mom, or you’re up for a very hard training session in which you’ll probably lose 5kg in two hours.
- Don’t feel guilty for not spending enough exclusive moments with them.
Mums are very good at feeling guilty. No matter what we do and how we do it, we always feel guilty. When the second child arrives, you can’t take care of both of them the same way you took care of your first one, but you’ve given them the greatest gift of all: a buddy for life!
- Don’t get (too) scared when you lock yourself out of the house with the kids inside.
Stay calm, talk to them through the door and, most likely, everything will be alright.
- Don’t forget to lock the car (and take the key) when you go to the park.
Once I was too busy helping Ginevra on her new bicycle and checking that Federico wouldn’t get smashed by a car while running all around the parking lot, so I forgot the car key in the keyhole and left… just like that, with my key right there in my car door for anybody to help themselves!
- Don’t be upset about the way you look.
I mean… you had two or more children in your belly. Who cares if you’re not in great shape yet!? Tell you what: treat yourself with some good chocolate and you’ll feel better! 😉
- Don’t forget to do something for yourself.
It could be having a coffee with a friend, a walk by yourself, attending your favorite yoga or music class, going shopping alone… you need it! You’ll feel guilty for leaving your kids, but you’ll actually do it for them too… children need happy mommies!